Never before have I yearned for the arrival of spring as I have this year. The winter, although not entirely dreadful, had its fair share of hardships. Both physical and mental struggles beset me and I could not shake off the feeling that the warmer mornings, blooming trees, and all that comes with spring would somehow alleviate my ailments.
And now, spring has come.
It has had an almost instantaneous effect on me, for it urges me to commence the yearly chores that come with maintaining my household. I must rake and bag the remaining leaves, unveil the lawn furniture, and revisit the "to-do" list that I have been keeping for years, as well as adding new items to it. It is always gratifying to set oneself a task and see it through to completion. I was able to accomplish a few things on my list right from the start.
I wish I could say that spring has brought clarity to the many issues that have been troubling me this winter, but it has not. I am still perplexed about many things in my life. Some things completely mystify me, to the extent that I begin to doubt my sanity or question the harsh reality of life itself. Thankfully, even though I enjoy mind-altering substances, I have the fortitude not to indulge when I find myself in a state of confusion and/or sorrow. I believe that there is growth to be found in all obstacles and it is always better to face them with a clear mind and body.
I am certain that some of my troubles are shared with others who, like me, are getting older and thinking about the end game while still moving forward as if nothing is happening. Except when it does happen, and we must confront it or ignore it, if we have the option.
Thus, on the first truly nice weekend of the year, I ventured outside to begin the task of tidying up my yard. I had already blown away some of the remaining leaves and turned my attention to my lawn - the bane of my backyard tasks. Although my lawn has improved over the years, it was still far from being a well-groomed suburban carpet of green. Dandelions grew abundantly, and there were many bare spots. I retrieved the thatching rake I purchased last year, although I recalled how strenuous it was, I approached it with the best intentions. I don't know what it is about thatching, but it just wears me out immediately. Even though I saw the massive results - there was a lot of dead stuff hanging out in my lawn - it wasn't enough to entice me to continue.
Last year, I opted for the rake instead of the powered thatcher. The rake cost around $30, while the powered machine cost $130 for the corded version. However, I had no idea how challenging the rake would be to use. Now, with a firm grasp on that knowledge, I turned to Amazon and ordered the machine. It arrived the following day, on Sunday, which turned out to be an excellent day for yard work despite the gloomy forecast. After assembling it quickly, I turned it on and began to thatch.
Thatching was now almost a pleasurable task. I thought I heard my lawn exhale a sigh of relief to be relieved of all that... thatch. Yes, the catch bag lived up to its notorious poor reviews, but even having to blow the lawn afterward was a relaxing task. And yes, in some small way, I moved forward, out of the darkness of the long, hard winter months and into the welcoming light of spring.
Is that all it takes? Can that really be the answer?
No, of course not. But it was a lesson learned. For me it is getting to understand that there are things that I can not only think about doing, but actually do them. From start to finish. And if I can eliminate those other things - the ones that I either think I should or could do, while knowing beforehand that I most likely shouldn't or can't, I'll be that much better off.
