Me And My Elvis Robot

Time was when I would have spent $300 on a talking robotic Elvis head but when I saw this pop up a few years ago I took a big pass. After all I'm a big boy now. It's been over a decade since the last real Elvis party and people have finally stopped giving me Elvis junk for my birthday and Christmas. Then one day last week there it was in the daily email from Buy.com - the WowWee Alive Elvis at $59.99. Signed, sealed and delivered. I couldn't get out my credit card fast enough.

Lizz was mildly amused and obviously relieved that I planned on taking it to office. Liam, who admitted to being "a little afraid" at first, warmed up quickly to the King's quirky movements and spent the rest of day talking to him expecting answers.

I can't even describe this thing. It kinda sorta looks like Elvis - it actually looks more like k.d. lang. I was disappointed to find out that it wouldn't move it's mouth along to any outside sources - you can connect a microphone or an iPod - and it seems as if the infared sensors do not work, but hey, it is a 60 buck chinese talking robot head. Buyer beware has never been more applicable. The whirring noise he makes is pretty disturbing until you realize that its the same noise you've made forever whenever you pretended you were a robot! If you don't know what I'm talking about, well that's the difference between me and you.

After I finally read the instruction manual, I got him to sing a few songs and tell a few stories. You can have him just spout out random statements, along with moving his head from side to side, raising his eyebrows and yes, the occaisional classic Elvis snear. My favorite bit of information from the user guide: "Should Elvis perform an unexpected function, please switch him OFF then ON again to reset him." Unexpected function? Like what - lunge for a hambuger? Start cursing? Cry? If only!

This morning I threw my Elvis robot head into a box and into the back of my topless jeep to take him to his new home. As I was enjoying the morning sunshine and fresh air, I couldn't help but think that it would be kind of funny if the robot king bounced out of the car and onto the windsheild of the car behind me. Would the fact that it was Elvis smashing into your car make you feel any better? If it happened to me, it would be a story I would tell for the rest of my life. But that's just me.

I had a great space picked out for him in the office where I can look up from my desk and keep an eye on him. We had a nice pair of classic shades for him which helps make him look more like ... him. He certainly does get people's attention and the word that seems to come up more often than not is "creepy." While I doubt that is what WowWee had in mind I have to admit that it really does sum it up.

My Elvis robot head came with only one cartridge that has about 8 songs and a dozen or so little stories. I am guessing that there won't be any more forthcoming. His hair, which looks excellent on the box, is misbehaving. I also was hoping that he would "auto activate" when sensing motion, but that's not the case. Instead he shuts off after 10 minutes and you can't turn him on from the remote. Maybe in the next version.

We have some plans to either find a body for him or make it look like he is trapped in the floor. We are also thinking of wiring him into the office PA system. There have been some interesting modifications detailed online. Whatever happens I am going to enjoy my status as the only owner of an Elvis robot head that I know for as long as it lasts.