Monday, May 19, 2008

Idol Chatter - Cook Wins It All!

Yes, I watch American Idol. I've watched it since the beginning. It is getting harder to watch, not so much because of the singers, but because of the judges. Most of the time we watch off the DVR which gives us the luxury of fast forwarding through Randy and Paula's almost never changing comments. I am glad that we did see Paula's major brain-fart a few weeks ago when she starting commenting on a song she had yet to hear. I still can't believe that they came through that sanfu unscathed. Pay not attention to the man behind the curtain! Apparently most of America doesn't even see the curtain.

For those of you who pretend not to watch, it is down to the last week, the final two. In this corner we have the little golden boy, David Archuleta, smooth as silk and gosh, so cute. I must hand out some major credits to the kid for sticking up for his old man who the media has painted as the backstage mother from hell. Then there is the other David, Cook that is. All of 25, he is this year's "rocker" and, from what I can see, the man Simon wants to get the crown. No doubt that Archuleta's CD will be a big seller this Christmas for all the grandmas and little sisters out there, but Cook is all set to unleash a string of tepid big rock ballads, no doubt already written and stamped in gold. You can actually see Cowell licking his chops.

As usual I will not be buying anything by any of these guys - never have, although I must admit to downloading some of Kelly Clarkson's tunes by mistake. Yeah, it was by ... mistake.

It's hard not to root to Archuleta, he seems so genuinely nice - the kind of boy you hope your son would grow up to pretend to be while he's out smoking pot and screwing girls. On the other hand Cook seems like the kind of guy Archuleta would buy his pot from, which makes him very real as well. My main vice with him is the guitar playing. Don't get me wrong, I am all about guitar playing but don't stand on that stage all alone, with your Van Halen amp about 50 feet away. Bring down the rest of the band, brother! Also he seems to have picked up Constantine Maroulis's "I'm So Hot" face when ending a song. Ewww.

If you tied me to a post and forced me to listen to one of them for hours I would have to pick David Cook. He actually has a little bit of an edge - and I do mean little - in his voice that keeps him interesting. Little Davy would just loosen my bowels after a while. So there it is - my official American Idol prediction.

But I also had the Yankees 10 games in first by now.

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